Our Very First Comedy Record
I'm sure that most of you
have never heard the name Johnny Standley before. I
hadn't either until I found out who he was while researching this record. I am,
however, very familiar with the song that he made famous back in 1952. It was
the first comedy record that I'd ever heard (I was 6 at the time) and I can
remember listening to it on the radio with tears of laughter running down my
face, each and every time I heard it. He was the precursor to Shelly Berman,
Jose Emanez, Justin Wilsons, Brother Dave , Jonathon Winters, Bob Newhart, Mom's Mabley and all those other great comedians to produce
comedy records later on. Just click on the title and enjoy
it, otherwise the lyrics are given below.
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(Grandma's Lye Soap...) by Johnny Standley
1952 It's in The Book
(Parts 1 and 2) Johnny Standley 1952 |
Lyrics
I have a message for you - a very sad message! My
subject for this evening will be Little Bo Peep. It says here, "Little Bo
Peep, who was a little girl, has lost her sheep," "And doesn't know
where to find them." Now that's reasonable, isn't it? It's, it's
reasonable to assume, if Little Bo Peep had lost her sheep, It's
only natural that she wouldn't know where to find them. That, that basically is
reasonabl-l-le, but, uh, "leave
them alone". Now that overwhelms me, …,
completely overwhelms me. The man said she lost her sheep, turns right around
and boldly states, "She doesn't know where to find them". And then
has the stupid audacity to say, "Leave them alone"! Now! Now, now think
for a moment! Think! If the sheep were lost, and you couldn't find them, You'd have to leave them alone, wouldn't you? So,
"Leave them alone". "Leave them alone". It's in the book!
"Leave them alone and they", they being the sheep, "they will
come home". Ah yes, they'll come home. Oh, there'll be a brighter day
tomorrow, they will come home! It's in the book. "They will come home… a-waggin' their tails…". Pray
tell me what else could they wag? "They will come home a-waggin' their tales … behind them… behind them"! Did
we think they'd wag them in front of them? Of course, they might have come home
in reverse. They could have done that, I really don't know. But, none the less,
it's in the book. So now if you will, kindly pick up your books, and turn to
page 222. We'll ask you all to sing. You'll find your books on the backs of
your seats. Are we ready? Everyone, 222. Let's really
enjoy ourselves, let's live it up. All together. Do
you remember grandma's lye soap? Good for everything in the home, And the secret was in the scrubbing, It wouldn't suds and
couldn't foam. Then let us sing right out of grandma's, of grandma's lye soap
Used for - for everything, everything on the place, For pots and kettles, the
dirty dishes, and for your hands and for your face. So we'll now sing the
second verse. Let's get it with great exuberance, let's live it up. It's not
raining inside tonight. Everyone, let's have a happy time. Are we ready? All
together, the second verse. Little Herman and brother Thurman Had an aversion to washing their ears Grandma scrubbed them with
the lye soap. And they haven't heard a word in years. Then let us sing right
out of grandma's, of grandma's lye soap. Sing all out, all over the place. The
pots and kettles, the dirty dishes, and also hands and also f…. (clapping fades) Well, let's sing what's left of the last
verse. Let's have a happy time, everyone. The last verse,
al-l-l-l together. Ev-v-v-very one! Mm-m-m-m. Thank you kindly, kindly, M-m-mrs.
O'Malley, out in the valley, Suffered from Ulcers, I
understand. She swallowed a cake of grandma's lye soap, Has
the cleanest ulcers in the land. Then let us sing right out of grandma's, of
grandma's lye soap. Sing right out. All over the place.
The pots and - the pots and pans, oh dirty dishes, And
the hands……..